Romance 101 – Week 13

Romance Tip 13:

- See a Professional Photographer.

Single? Now is the perfect time to commemorate how fantastic you are. Not when you lose five pounds. Not when you have a boyfriend or get that fantastic promotion, right now. Either find a photography studio that does hair and makeup or splash out and go to a salon. Get your hair and make up done, fish out that amazing dress you only wear on special occasions and get your photo taken, exactly as you are now.

Avoid wearing jewellery or clothes that will look dated in a few years and make sure you ask the stylist for a neutral, natural look.

Not only will you come away with gorgeous photos you can look back on in thirty years, but you’ll have a new, fresh image of yourself for online dating profiles, facebook and your blog. Send a copy to your parents for Christmas and don’t be ashamed to frame it and put it up somewhere in your house. You’re gorgeous Who wouldn’t want a picture of you around?

Dating? If you’re still early in your relationship, it may seem a little formal to get professional photos done. However if you last the distance, you’ll be glad you have such a nice memento of your early years. If you’ve been together a while, it’s the perfect opportunity to get some nice pictures done and celebrate the time you’ve spent together.

Photos are some of the most special keepsakes you can have. In emergency situations, they’re usually the first material things people try and save. Not only that, they will last well beyond your lifetime. A few years ago my grandmother died and many of her old photos and slides ended up going to me. There are a collection of professional photos taken at her wedding and they are utterly gorgeous. She looks like she could be my sister.

The photos you take now might not just be enjoyed by you and your children, but your grandchildren and great grandchildren.

Remember! Finding the right photographer is paramount. Visit their websites and look at their online galleries before committing to anyone. You want to find someone who matches your own personal style, be it quirky and alternative, or traditional and classical.

Be sure exactly what you are getting for your money. Don’t be afraid to ask questions and ask for alternatives if they don’t offer a package that suits your needs.

Romance 101 – Week 11

Romance Tip 11:

- Handmade Bath Salts!

Single? Handmade bath salts are easy, fun and cheap to make. You can keep them for yourself, or give them away to friends and family as awesome gifts. You only need a few simple things to get started—most of which you should already have, or can get at the supermarket or $2 store.

You will need:

- Empty glass canisters (such as coffee canisters or cheap glass storage canisters).

-  Several kilograms of rock salt.

- Food dye.

- Essential oils (such as rose, lavender, jasmine or orange).

- Ribbons – to decorate the canisters.

Put several cups of rock salt into a bowl, or several bowls, if you want a few different colours. Put in a few drops of food colouring and a few drops of essential oil and stir with a big wooden spoon.  You’ll want to add food dye slowly, so you can get the colour you want and you may need about a tea spoon of scented oil for every four cups of salt.

Don’t put too much colour in! You don’t want to dye yourself blue!

It’s pretty much that simple. Then all you need to do is put the coloured, scented salt in the glass considers and tie a bow around it with the ribbon—preferably in the same colour as the salt.

When I was sneakily redecorating my mother’s bathroom while she was on holiday, I made bath salts to match the colour scheme of the room. And if you want to get really creative, you can mix two or more essential oils together to make your own special bath smell, just for you.

Dating? Do you know your lover’s favourite colour and scent? Men tend to prefer ‘food’ scenes, like cinnamon, orange and vanilla, while women often like flower scents, like rose, jasmine and lily of the valley.  Balt salts are a lovely, but still cheap, surprise that you can make for someone. And hot, sweet-smelling luxurious baths are always sexy.

You could even make the bath salts a part of a ‘love pack’ including oils, candles as a prelude to a great night in!

Remember! Always test a drop of the essential oil on your skin before you pour a whole heap in with the salt. It’s much better to have a small patch of hives on your hand, than a full body rash if it turns out you’re allergic.

Romance 101 – Week 10

Romance Tip 10:

- Design your own cocktail.

Single? Time to invite over a few friends for a really fun party: its design your own cocktail night! The best thing about doing this with friends is that you can split the costs, as its one of the more expensive romance tips I’m going to suggest. Ask your friends to bring over all and any bottles of alcohol they have at home—though you’re going to need to make a list of what they have beforehand, so when you make the trip to the bottle-o you’re getting things you’re likely to use.

As well as a range of alcohols—as many as you can get—you’re also going to need mixers and a few tools.

Here’s a list of things that aren’t alcoholic you may want:

- Chocolate (for chocolate curls!)

- Maraschino cherries

- Berries

- Lemon

- Banana

- Other fruits

- Milk

- Cream

- Soft drinks, particularly coke

- Grenadine

- Ice

- Ice cream

- Mint

- Pineapple juice

- Orange juice

- Apricot juice

- Cranberry juice

- Other juices

- Coffee

- Cinnamon

- Sugar

- Salt

- Flavoured jelly crystals

- Tea

- Marshmallows

- And if you want to be really filthy, cake or brownie mix.

You’ll also need a few other things, like stirrers, glasses, spoons a blender and some other things that you hopefully have already. If not, get your guests to bring them.

Remember to keep a pen and paper handy to write down the best recipes. Chances are, you’ll be a bit drunk and totally forget them. Don’t forget to name them!

Dating? If you’re a couple and have decided to do this together, instead of with friends, it should be a cosy evening in the kitchen. Put on some music you both like and have a good time. Try and make something that represents you as a couple and your relationship. Is it sweet and rich? Fizzy and fruity? Hot and pink? Make something you both really enjoy, then on special nights together, you can whip them up again. You’re own secret romance recipe!

Remember! Please drink responsibly. This tip is about creating exciting new cocktails, not getting completely blitzed and throwing up on the couch.

Romance 101 – Week 7

Romance Tip 07

- Visit a fair, market or festival together.

Single? Call up some friends for a cheap and entertaining day out. Markets are always free—though sometimes you have to pay to get into festivals or shows, so call or look them up online before you head out. Make the most of the food stalls and live entertainment. Talk to people, plan to take it slow and relax. You can find what is happening in your area by looking in smaller local newspapers, online community bulletin boards, by listening, or even calling, local radio stations and by googling your area and upcoming weekend dates.

Who knows, you might even make friends with some cute guys or girls who want to invite you out for drinks later! Always be friendly and bring an open mind. Fesitvals and shows can lead to all kinds of fun adventures!

Dating? Festivals, fairs, shows and markers are great places for couples. It’s a lazy way to spend a whole day, just slowly walking around together, chatting and relaxing. There is always food stalls and often there is live music and performances, local arts and crafts, small business stalls and interesting products and novelties. The whole day can be about the two of you, spending time together, with no need to rush or do much of anything except exactly what you feel like at the time.

The best thing about festivals and fairs is that most only come around once a year—so they are always a break from habit. Breaks from habit are very good for relationships! It will give you something new to talk about, and maybe a new interest to pursue.

Remember! While many festivals are annual and markets tend to be monthly, there are hundreds of different ones, running all around you, all year. In most areas, you should be able to find a fair, market, festival or show within a few hours’ drive of you, every single weekend. Don’t discount the trade shows either. Camping, farming, pet and bridal exhibitions are excellent, even if you don’t think you have an interest in those areas. Small town shows are great too—you always find the zaniest, most creative things! Not to mention foods you will probably never experience again. Which is probably for the best...

Romance 101 – Week 5

Romance Tip 05

- Make an online inspiration album.

Single? Inspiration boards have been popular for a few decades now. However websites like pinterest have taken them to a new level. Inspiration boards are fantastic for motivating you to achieve your goals, not to mention they are great for really focusing you on what those goals are. If you’re saving for a holiday to New Zealand and you have a board dedicated to photos of all the places you want to visit, looking at those photos will strengthen your resolve NOT to buy that cute $40 skirt, or even just that $3 candy bar.

Daydreaming is romantic too. You can dedicate a board to arts and craft projects to make your house more beautiful, and once a fortnight you can choose one and tackle it. (First for me? Jewellery hangers/organisers!) Or you can create a garden album and do the same. You can plan your dream wedding too, just don’t show it to potential partners until they really, really like you. Or, you can simply use them to visualise the life you want for yourself: a loving husband or wife, children, hundreds of cats, a horse ranch, a trendy artist’s loft, owning a cafe in Paris—whatever it is you want for yourself, visualising it will not only make you feel happy, but will make you more likely to take steps toward making it happen.

Dating? Create a profile as a couple, not as an add on to something else. Your partner is not just another board on your pinterest account! You want your inspiration album to be about the things you want as a couple—not just one of you agreeing to the other’s dreams. You might not want exactly the same things, so it’s important to focus on the dreams you share.

If you both want a baby and awesome geeky baby things, like dinosaur pyjamas and mad scientist building blocks, make a board for that. However you also might want to make a board for holidays you’d both like to take, or activities you both love. Inspiration boards are great for planning weddings, or decorating houses together. Choose a topic that works for both of you as a couple, thinking about the things that brought, and keep, you together.

Remember! Technically, pinterest and other online gallery websites are on shaky legal ground. Even though it’s frowned on for people to upload their own images to pinterest, the terms and conditions actually state that you should have permission to pin or re-pin any images you use. If someone asks you to take down one of their photos, you are obliged to do so and if you really love certain images, I suggest stashing them in your hard drive somewhere, as they could vanish into the ether at any time.

Romance 101 - Week 3

ROMANCE TIP 03:

- Take a class/do a workshop together.

Single? Grab a friend and find and amazing class or workshop you can take together. Most workshops will be related to a creative activity (cooking, art, craft goods) or a sport (dancing, fishing, self defence). You’ll also be able to find special interest workshops, such as wine tasting, cheese making or dairy farming. Check newspapers, community centre online notice boards, local council websites, universities, TAFEs and local arts centre websites to find courses that interest you, or just google your area and see what comes up.

Here’s a quick list of things I can think of that would be awesome fun to do.

- Life drawing classes

- Oil painting classes

- Photography classes

- Knitting classes

- Rock climbing classes

- Cooking classes

- Wine tasting classes

- Gardening classes

- Writing workshops

- Dance classes

- Self defence classes

- Wood working classes

- Pottery and sculpture classes

- Defensive driving classes

- First Aid classes

- Craft classes

- Martial arts classes

- Sailing classes

- Yoga workshops

- Better sex/couples workshops

- Digital art/photoshop classes

- Website design classes

- Landscaping workshop

- Renovating workshop

- Massage workshop

- Installing and maintaining a pond or water-feature workshop

- Pilates workshop

- Acting classes

- Singing classes

- Editing digital videos workshop

- Bookmaking classes

- Scrapbooking workshop

I could do this all day. There are so many classes and workshops around—if you can’t find one that interests you, you must be a very dull person!

Dating? If you’re dating, it’s important to find something that interests you both. Or perhaps you can broaden each other’s horizons by each picking a different class and surprising one and other with it. However remember it’s not a punishment, you want to find something the two of you can have fun at together. Getting out and doing something interesting and different will bring novelty back to the relationship and give you something else to talk about. And something like dance, massage or sex classes will likely spice things up in other areas of your life too!

Remember! New experiences and novel activities keep the brain healthy and active. With any kind of relationship, romantic or otherwise, it’s easy to get stuck in a rut. We all have our habits and most of us have jobs that keep our schedule pretty consistent. If you don’t mix it up every so often, you might as well be a dairy cow. But workshops not only get us out of the house and somewhere new, they also teach us something and maybe introduce us to a new passion in life!

Romance 101 - Week 1

Hello there! And welcome to my first ever blog post.

Every week, typically on Wednesday (Tuesday for the Americans!) I will be writing a new post on tips to up the romance in your life. Each tip will have a solo version for all the single people, and variation for those with a partner. As much as possible, they will be written in a way that is accessible and applicable to men, women, gay and straight people. Romance does not discriminate! Romance is for everyone.

ROMANCE TIP 01:

- Post a handmade card.

Single? Go to an arts supply store, collect some old magazines and make someone a handmade card. You don’t need a great reason to send one. Choose a friend or family member who has been sick, overworked, tired, sad or lonely and write a little message that says something like: “This card is to remind you how awesome you are.”, “Just to remind you you are appreciated.” Or “This is for being you.”

My number one best tip here is to google ‘handmade cards’ and look at the image search. Find a design you think is awesome and pretty much copy it, sequin for sequin. Do this before you go to the art supply store, so you know what you’re looking for. You can also spray some perfume or cologne on the card before you post it.

Whoever receives your card will be touched someone was thinking of them. It will make their day and I promise making someone else feel loved will make you feel fantastic.

Dating? Most of us tell our partners we love them every day, however taking the time to not only make them a card, but then to post it will be a charming surprise. It does help if they’re the one checking the mail! Don’t just say that you love them in the card, say that you appreciate them—be specific.

“Thank you for looking after me while I was sick.” Or “Thank you for driving when I had a headache last week.” Will make the card seem more sincere, and it will encourage them to be thoughtful again in the future.

Remember!

In the same way smiling at a stranger will give you both a rush of endorphins and make you both happy, doing romantic and thoughtful things for others will make your life feel as if it is full of romance. Giving is as good as receiving and I promise the more you give to people, the more you will get in return.

Just remember to give for the sake of giving. If you act only because you want something in return, people will sense it and you’ll be left feeling frustrated and unappreciated. Practise selflessness and the universe will reward you with generous abundance.