101 Ways To Live Better: Plan For The People You Love

Welcome to my 101 series, which explores 101 little things you can do to improve your day to day life, and the world, just a little bit.

Our sixth post is: PLAN FOR THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE

I have nightmares about forgetting birthdays.

If there is a worse feeling than hurting a loved one because you forgot their special day, I don’t want to know what it is. Maybe you’re not great at keeping track of the date and you forget Christmas, Valentine’s Day and your Anniversary too. Maybe you don’t care about those things and you don’t think it’s a big deal.

However, it probably is a big deal to the people you love and if you love them, I know you wouldn’t want to be hurting them just because you’re forgetful. Particularly because once it’s done, it’s done and it’s very hard to undo.

I live out of my day planner, I have said it before. When I get a new day planner, usually in November or December some time, I put aside a few hours to go through and write in all the birthdays of the people who really matter to me, and any other important dates I need to remember, like close friend’s anniversaries. I never rely on facebook to remember people’s birthdays if I really care about them. Some of my friends don’t have their birthday listed on facebook and every year I am the only one who remembers to say happy birthday to them!

For the people I need to get special gifts for: my mother, my brothers, my best friends, etc, I put another reminder a week BEFORE their birthday. ‘Gift for X’s birthday.’ That way, I am reminded a week early and can go and shop for something really awesome.

It’s no good only having a reminder ON the day, particularly if you live with that person. Then it becomes obvious when you have to rush out and get them something!

If you don’t use a day planner, find another system. Your phone’s digital calendar might work. Or google planner. You may even want to find a system that lets you send emails on a set date and email yourself.

And remember, sometimes remembering a bad day is as important as remembering a good day. Don’t be like the ex-friend of mine who decided to read me the riot act on the first anniversary of my father’s death. If someone’s family member dies, make a note of it and give them a little extra care on that day. Few people will remember the exact date of tragic events, but you can bet they do.

Just a little effort in late December will make sure you have plenty of time all year to buy gifts, make reservations and send special messages to the people you love, to show them that they really do matter to you. That even though you are forgetful sometimes (and we all are), you care enough about them to make a note and remember when it matters.

If you want advice on how to shop for the perfect gift though, you’re going to have to wait for a future blog post!

Romance 101 – Week 12

Romance Tip 12:

- Book Trade!

Single? Books are magical. If you already read and have friend who read, you probably exchange recommendations all the time already.  Book recommendations are a little different from book trades though—I’m not suggesting you give away your favourite books, rather that you loan them for a short period of time.

Choose a book that you think a friend would love—but one they wouldn’t necessarily read on their own. Something outside their favourite genre. Something that if you simply recommended it and they looked it over, they probably wouldn’t pick up. They do the same for you and you both commit to reading the book in a week or a month, depending on what works for the two of you.

It’s a great way to expand your literary horizons and it gives you both something new to talk about.

Dating? For me, sharing books with lovers has always been one of the most intimate, important acts I can do. Books are so important to me and the characters and worlds within them so special, that sharing my favourite authors and series is a way of sharing a very special part of my soul. I don’t let myself be disappointed if my partner doesn’t love the same stuff I do, we all have different tastes, but I’d be very hurt if they didn’t at least try and read it.

Sharing books about our passions, regardless of if those passions are sci fi, gardening, finance, romance or Pomeranian sledding teams, is a fantastic way for our partners to learn more about our interests. There is nothing better than giving a partner a book they are doubtful about, only to have them love it and recommend it to their friends.

Reading together is a great way to spend time together, being intimate, without feeling like you have to be fully attentive. It will give you something new to talk about and, who knows, you might find a new favourite author or hobby!

Remember! It takes most authors between six months and two years to write a book. If you’re loaning and borrowing books, the author isn’t seeing any extra profit, no matter how much you enjoyed reading it. However you can do the author a huge favour by popping on to amazon or goodreads and giving their book a star rating, as well as writing a short review. You don’t have to write a novel of your own, just a few lines about what you enjoyed can really make an author’s day and help boost their sales.

Romance 101 – Week 11

Romance Tip 11:

- Handmade Bath Salts!

Single? Handmade bath salts are easy, fun and cheap to make. You can keep them for yourself, or give them away to friends and family as awesome gifts. You only need a few simple things to get started—most of which you should already have, or can get at the supermarket or $2 store.

You will need:

- Empty glass canisters (such as coffee canisters or cheap glass storage canisters).

-  Several kilograms of rock salt.

- Food dye.

- Essential oils (such as rose, lavender, jasmine or orange).

- Ribbons – to decorate the canisters.

Put several cups of rock salt into a bowl, or several bowls, if you want a few different colours. Put in a few drops of food colouring and a few drops of essential oil and stir with a big wooden spoon.  You’ll want to add food dye slowly, so you can get the colour you want and you may need about a tea spoon of scented oil for every four cups of salt.

Don’t put too much colour in! You don’t want to dye yourself blue!

It’s pretty much that simple. Then all you need to do is put the coloured, scented salt in the glass considers and tie a bow around it with the ribbon—preferably in the same colour as the salt.

When I was sneakily redecorating my mother’s bathroom while she was on holiday, I made bath salts to match the colour scheme of the room. And if you want to get really creative, you can mix two or more essential oils together to make your own special bath smell, just for you.

Dating? Do you know your lover’s favourite colour and scent? Men tend to prefer ‘food’ scenes, like cinnamon, orange and vanilla, while women often like flower scents, like rose, jasmine and lily of the valley.  Balt salts are a lovely, but still cheap, surprise that you can make for someone. And hot, sweet-smelling luxurious baths are always sexy.

You could even make the bath salts a part of a ‘love pack’ including oils, candles as a prelude to a great night in!

Remember! Always test a drop of the essential oil on your skin before you pour a whole heap in with the salt. It’s much better to have a small patch of hives on your hand, than a full body rash if it turns out you’re allergic.

Romance 101 – Week 8

Romance Tip 08

- Do your partner’s chores.

Dating? I hope that all partners who live together have divided the household chores in a sensible and fair way. Interestingly, studies show that in households where men do 50% of the household chores, both partners are happier and the relationship is more likely to last. It’s important for relationship health that everyone does their part to keep the household running. However there is nothing nicer than dragging yourself into the kitchen to do the dishes and seeing they have already been done and that the kitchen is spotless!

Simple gestures like this can really show our partner we love them. It seems mundane, but there are plenty of women out there who tell you cleaning up and cooking dinner the sexist thing a man can do. And guys always appreciate the opportunity to sit down and relax... particularly if they would otherwise be sweeping out the garage.

Single? It doesn’t matter who you live with, the theory is the same. Clean up for someone, wash the dog or do some dishes. Mop the floors. I am sure there are endless things you can do that will really make the day of your family or housemates. If you live alone, this is a little trickier. If you have a friend who is sick, disabled or has a new baby, offer to come over and cook them dinner—then clean up afterward! It will be deeply appreciated and they’ll love you all the more for the gesture.

Remember! Some tasks require special skills, or at least, a basic knowledge of how things work. If you’ve never done washing before, your kind gesture may turn into a fight when you throw her jeans in with her $100 bra, or your red cap in with her whites. My housemate never checks if the arms in the dishwasher can spin, and as a result I have to re-load the dishwasher and wash the dishes again 50% of the time.

If you are going to do someone’s chores, do them properly.

Romance 101 – Week 6

I’m getting pretty excited. My first book is released on the 23^rd of this month! There are already reviews up around the place and a few give away competitions happening. It’s so wonderful and surreal! Anyway, on with the blog:

Romance Tip 06

- Leave a special message in a book.

Dating? Write a short, sweet love note for your partner and slip it in the book they are reading, a few chapters ahead of their bookmark. Just a simple ‘I love you’ will be enough to make them smile. Take the time to make sure the paper is cut nicely and not torn and aim for legible penmanship. You could even sprits the paper with your signature perfume or cologne.

Does your partner only read on an e-reader? You can do the same thing by flipping ahead a few pages, and writing a note—if the e-reader has that capability. Most do, but I recommend you google exactly how to do it, depending on which device your partner has. Make sure you add your name!

Single? Write a short note to a friend, reminding them they are beautiful and talented and slip it in the book they are reading when they aren’t looking. Be sure to put their name at the top and your name at the bottom. You never know, it might be the book their partner is reading, and that could get you into all sorts of trouble!

You can do the same on their e-reader, if it has the capability. You could even lend them a book and slip the note in before you give it to them.

Remember! These notes can take a little while to find. I’d been holding off telling a boyfriend that I loved him and had told him on no uncertain terms that I didn’t want to hear him say it first. Eventually I leant him a book with a note in it confessing my affections. It took him two weeks to find it—and then he called me at 2am in his excitement. It took a lot of self control not to ask how he was going with the book, but it was all worthwhile.